not to me

Not To Me

i want out of here, out of this space inside my head
that makes me miserable and tired and guilty. i had
a dream last night. i dreamed i had found my way
home. i woke up in my own bed with my husband
beside me and i started laughing/crying.

"oh, god, Bruce! i had the most awful dream! i dreamt
i had lost you, i was lost. i was in a horrible place and
i couldn't get home. i could hear your voice and the
voices of the kids and of our friends, but i couldn't find
my way home to you. i was miserable and i did some
truly horrible things. and i kept thinking, 'if i could
just get home, i'll be ok again.'" and my husband took me
in his arms and kissed me.

then i woke up alone, Glenn's shadowy form leaving the
room, my shoulder warm from where he'd kissed me.

denise