thanks, but no thanks

"thanks, but i'd rather be left alone..."

a phrase that popped into my head just now, thinking
about Glenn and how i don't want to share my space
with anyone at the moment. all the moments, actually.
right now, i'm holed up inside myself, enjoying the peace
and serenity of my life as it floats along. in the winter, i'm
an island. i do not need anyone else when it's cold outside.
i have 10 beautiful quilts to pile on my bed, warm robes and
slippers, hot tea and cocoa to warm me inside and out. my
books fill me with companionship and the sounds of other
voices ring in my head.

i love winter and the night.

i am so happy so often. how wonderful to write that sentence
and mean it! i have everything i need in my life, in my heart,
in my home. i'm not lonely or bitter or frightened or angry or
needy or jealous or incomplete.

this alone-ness feels good. i sleep when i want, wake
when i want, eat what and when i want, come and go
as i please. i keep my house clean. i cherish the ticking
of my clock downstairs. i love the hum of the furnace.

i'm so complete right now, i feel near to bursting.

denise